How Many Ways Can I Distract You?
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Several unrelated and simple Daniel and Vala situations...mostly drabble,-but often fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

How Many Ways Can I Distract You?

Several unrelated and simple Daniel and Vala conversations...complete drabble, nonsenses-but often fluffy.

o0o0o-Number One-o0o0o-

Eyes rolling upward, head shaking in disbelief, Daniel responded, "Cave art... right? And did extraterrestrials visit earth … and leave? That's your question?"

"No silly," Vala shook her head emphatically, hair flying.

Confused, Daniel pursed his lips, his brows diving downward. "Er...Huh?"

"Well, darling, they came and stayed, raised their children, a few maybe inbred with the existing humanoid Earth-like thingies and they populated Earth and then they finally forgot their history... so.. Daniel...you're obviously one of their heirs or progeny or descendents."

"Sure," Daniel interrupted, hoping to salvage this conversation, "okay, whatever, and you?'

"Weeellll, darling, I'm an alien, just like you, except I'm not from here and my group didn't actually come to Earth...until I did on my own – after I met you, and decided I was going to have you...like forever. We're obviously from a similar gene pool unlike you and Mitchell who are from a closer...much closer gene pool."

Laughing, Daniel removed his hands from behind his head, rolled over, and pressed his length against hers. "Right. So why again, I mean, why did 'they' came to Earth?"

"Hmm," Vala took a deep breath, relaxing, scooting her back into Daniel's chest, "Home world was dying? Sun about to explode? Or maybe a big meteor was coming? You know, something like that."

With an exaggerated sigh, Daniel placed his head against the back of Vala's, puffing a breath to blow stray ebony strands aside. "The Syrian people, Mesopotamia, Syria... what is now mostly Iraq...well, that was the emergence of …

"Oh Daniel, for heaven's sakes! Can't you just let go of all that analytical, sciencie, archeology, stuff? Let your mind go free. Yes, yes, yes, and blah, blah, blah... Tigris-Euphrates...cradle of civilization," Vala pouted with slight annoyance . "Think Asgard. Think Oma Desa...Oma. Think possibilities... gods, Daniel, I love you, but sometimes you're so frustrating!"

"Um, love you too, sweetheart. Don't understand you for more than a second or two each day, but love you."

"I hate these restrictions." Vala snuggled closer, spooning into the cradle of Daniel's arms.

His hand gently traveled over the slight rise of her belly. "Worth it though, right? You insisted, after all. On children. So quit complaining."

"Well, sure, alright, but really, don't you agree? I mean, after all you're the one who said the pyramids were...mmmm, darling..."

~End number one. ~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

How Many Ways Can I Distract You?

Spacegypsy1

-o0o-number two-o0o-

Surreptitiously Daniel peeked around the corner, looking far down the corridor of the long abandoned Goa'uld stronghold. Vala was tucked up tight against his back, her chin on his shoulder, trying to get a better view. The urge to shrug her off never came.

"Vala." He whispered knowing he couldn't concentrate on anything other than her if he didn't do something.

She breathed a little non-committal reply.

"Back off." Again, his voice was low, but kind. When she backed up he felt the loss of body heat and his own body seemed desolate. Quietly he turned his head slowly and spoke with barely a sound. "Hand me the scope."

When she handed him the tool he could not help but break the slightest smile at her raised brow, and the hint of mischief in her eyes.

Using the telescope he studied the hallway at length, feeling her breath on his neck.

"What do you see?" She asked softly, impatience in her tone.

Pulling the scope in, he passed it to her. "Nothing," his head went back against the wall.

"I'm not fond of waiting around doing nothing. Why can't we explore?" Vala's head had tilted over to lie against his arm.

He turned, looking down and finding his face mere inches from hers. "Because, Mitchell said to watch and wait for the guy in the green tunic, and follow him."

She let out a quiet huff, then with a shrug she smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling with something he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"We'll wait here." Daniel slid down the wall to sit, Vala following without breaking contact with his body, or taking her gaze from his.

"We've waited an hour already. I'm bored."

"No, really?" His grin broadened and his eyes widened. He looked away a moment then back. They waited, silent, and gazes locked, for long minutes until finally without a word he held his palm out.

Somehow she managed to inch closer as she handed him the telescope. Pouting mouth near his ear, she whispered huskily. "Really, really, bored, he's not coming...that green tunic guy."

The scent of her drew his face around and his lips brushed her skin. He hesitated only a second or two, just long enough to know he was in a very dangerous position. "Go report to Mitchell, and stay quiet, remember...radio silence...and...and hurry back." Daniel forced his face away, a hand gently nudging her back as he pushed himself up, extended the tool, and watched the corridor.

"Psst…psst."

Looking back over his shoulder he flicked his hand and mouthed 'go'. She waved that wacky wave of hers until he had to finally wave back. After she was gone he turned again to the empty corridor, but his thoughts were on Vala and how much he'd grown to appreciate her. Her laughter. Her smile. Her eyes. All of her.

~TBC

A/N: sorry for the delay! I've been distracted...by work - and Dragon*Con! and... Trying to get Dragon*Con video up on our spacegypsies site!


	3. Chapter 3

How Many Ways Can I Distract You?

Spacegypsy1

**-o0o-Number Three-o0o-**

"Wha...What are you wearing!" Daniel's eyes widened.

"Shorts." Tossing her hair and turning away Vala walked off, hips swaying just so.

Taking a step after her, Daniel thought better of it, stopped and decided to yell instead. "Short is right! Vala! Come back here!"

Feeling the undeniable weight of Teal'c's hand on his shoulder, Daniel sighed.

"DanielJackson, why are you yelling?"

"Did you see what she was wearing?"

"I did."

"And?"

Before Teal'c could answer, Vala yelled across the camp site. "I cut off a pair of my BDU pants, and the bottom of a tank top to better allow the sun on more of my skin. I've been reading on the shocking lack of Vitamin D on your planet! And since we are on a triple sun planet and since they are far, far away and reportedly do not send out too many of the bad rays...well...I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to..."

"Princess!' Mitchell interrupted, "We get it! Go, sunbathe. Jackson! You go guard her while the big guy and I scout around lookin' for places with artifacts that do not exist on this deserted piece-a-crap planet you got us stuck on. Because you were oh so sure! And then we discover the DHD is fried and we got about four hours of nothin' to do...but wait. So go, guard, watch."

"Me! Go...guar...watch...me?" When Daniel looked back over his shoulder he found Mitchell unsympathetic, arm outstretched, and finger pointed in Vala's direction. Shrugging, he tossed his hands in the air and yelled out, "Fine Mitchell! Don't blame me if something...er...you know...that shouldn't take place, does!"

The colonel grinned and huffed, "Yeah, like that's gonna happen with you two."

Making a childish face at the retreating back of his CO, Daniel's mouth screwed up in agreement. He rolled his eyes, head bobbing around.

Vala giggled and Daniel whipped his head around just in time to see the half moons of her six - peeking out from under the ragged end of hastily cut off BDUs - disappear down the path.

Daniel grimaced, one eye going wide, the other squeezing shut. _Holy buckets, she's gonna be the death of me yet! _ The grimace morphed into a full blown grin. Once more he looked back to where Teal'c and Mitchell had disappeared in the opposite direction, before heading off after Vala.

Sometimes things just went really, really bad and then there where missions like this. Perfect!


	4. Chapter 4

**-o0oNumber Four-o0o-**

"What were you thinking?" Daniel pushed open the front door to his apartment, stepped aside and ushered Vala in.

"I wasn't, I just reacted. Literally didn't look before I leapt that chasm, grabbed you by your collar and fell back against the ground – thereby giving myself enough momentum to pull you half way up. I just happen to be a much faster runner than Mitchell or Muscles. Not to mention a much better long distance jumper! I got there first. I'd do it again. And again. And ag..."

"Okay, I get that part. Thank you for saving my life." He ran the words all together, quickly.

She bit her lip, twisting to an fro. "You're welcome."

Daniel watched her a moment, a gentle smile on his lips as he mumbled, "Sorry. Watching you mid-air, well, I haven't been that scared of losing someone...in a long time."

"Honestly, Daniel! I was the one about to lose someone! Darling, are you afraid if you tell me how you feel about me, and then we sort of hook up, if you know what I mean, that I'll leave you? Or Die? In which case if I die I **would** actually leave you or is it if everyone finds out about us that the IOA and General Landry will make you stand around?"

"Huh? Oh, stand down?" Hands on his hips, Daniel let out a long suffering sigh. "No and no. Maybe not entirely no on the first part. Or, really, yes, entirely no on the first part and no on the second part."

"Oh. Ah. Well." Vala looked around the apartment. "So, you have a cleaning person?"

"Nope." Daniel disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh." Nervously, Vala fidgeted with her hair. She'd expected to rile him with her questions and when he took it in stride, it threw her off her game. That and the no and no and maybe not entirely no -then yes/no thingie. "Well, it's very tidy. I'm surprised. Why again are we here?"

"Pick up some notes I need tomorrow. Among other things."

"Right. And these notes, they're in the kitchen?" Folding her arms across her chest, Vala leaned her six on the back of a chair in an effort to appear totally unconcerned.

"No."

He was making her nuts! Vala hid the nervous reaction to his odd behavior and then she flinch at some popping sound from the kitchen. "What other things?"

He came out of the kitchen carrying two full champagne flutes. "To life." He handed her a glass. "Thank you, again, for saving mine. And would it really matter what the IOA or Landry did?"

Vala took the champagne and studied the bubbles. "I'm supposed to be distracting you, darling. Not the other way around." When he moved closer, Vala hid her astonishment by guzzling down half her drink.

"Believe me. I'm distracted." Daniel's gaze ran the length of her body, coming back to lock with her surprised eyes.

"Oh." She breathed out as he took the glass from her hands and set both on a nearby table. Suddenly, Vala wasn't so sure she was in control of this or any situation involving Daniel.

Slowly he invaded her personal space stopping mere inches from her. "So, exactly what kind of hooking up were you thinking of?"

She squeaked, "Hmm?" Her hand went against his chest. "The long term kind, with all the thrills and trimmings?"

"Really?" Daniel took her face in his hands.

Vala stole a small kiss. "Yes, really."

"Fine. Let's do it." He nibbled the corner of her bottom lip.

Taking a deep breath, she shivered with anticipation. "What? Do what?"

"It, Vala, let's do 'it'." He kissed her properly.

Once she recovered, she sighed, "Which it?"

"All of it. Hooking up, this, more. A lot more."

~series TBC~


	5. Chapter 5

**-o0o-Number Five-o0o-**

"It's a dark and stormy night."

His eyes rose first, over his glasses, then slowly his head came up. He had that "huh?" look on his face. Vala shrugged one shoulder, propped her six on his desk and began to fiddle with a pile of papers.

"And how would you know that? We're underground."

"I went topside."

"Really?"

"Um Hmm." She nodded, face the picture of practiced innocence.

"It's not that late. And you're dry, already in your pajamas and barefoot." He went back to scribbling in his journal.

"Clouds and tunnel, robe and slippers." She laid across his desk, swiping at the papers in her way and shoving them over the edge.

"Ah." He did not rise to the bait.

Elbow on the only spot of wood not covered in Daniel mess or her, and cheek supported by one hand, Vala placed the other hand, fingers splayed, across his journal. "Miss me?"

"Nope." Eyes lifted again, this time going from the enormous curlers on her head, across the skimpy, yet just enough coverage sleep set, along those creamy thighs, past the cute knees, and down to painted toenails. "I need this." Daniel ran his hand under her hip.

"What?"

He pulled a sheet of paper from under her and waved it in the air. "This."

"You do know everyone is gone? And just the boney crew is left?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Daniel stifled a laugh. "Skelton crew."

She yawned wide, stretching her body languidly, rolling to her back. "Sleepy?"

"Nope."

"Good. Come to bed. I have candles lit and some new toys."

He forced his gaze from her cleavage taking a quick glance at her face and then went back to scribbling. "Nope."

"Alright." She said without a hint of regret. "I suppose I will have to play with them all by myself." Sitting up, she arched her back, scooted to the edge and hopped off the desk. "Too bad, Darling, I got your favorite flavors."

Daniel threw his hands up in the air in defeat. Then tossed his glasses on the desk, scrubbed his face, then his hair and turned to find her with that Cheshire Cat grin waiting on him. "Dark and stormy, huh?"

Still grinning, Vala nodded, finally giving him a sultry voiced, "Um hmm."

He stood suddenly, sending the chair flying. She squealed with delight and took off at a run, Daniel right behind her.

_~more distractions coming soon_


	6. Chapter 6

**-o0o-Number Six-o0o-**

The initial screech had each of the three men on their feet and running towards Vala's tent. Mere feet from it's entrance, Mitchell, Teal'c, and Daniel skidded to a stop as Vala burst through the tent flap.

With the setting sun blazing behind her, her BDU jacket went one direction and she went the other, yelling. "Beeeeeeeeeeeee!

At first, Daniel laughed, Mitchell hollered, "Princess!" and Teal'c cocked his head to the side, his mouth opening ever so slightly.

When Vala's T-shirt ripped over her head and was tossed aside as she ran in a circle, intermittently swatting at herself or the air, and she began to pull the chemise up, well, the three rushed her.

"Whoa, whoa, Princess." Mitchell got hold of the tail of her pink underwear, holding it down.

"Beee!" Vala cried out, "it's...it's...it's..."

Daniel stepped in front of her. "It's okay now!"

"Eeeehhh, I think it got me. Here, see?" Snatching the shirttail from her CO, Vala lifted it and pointed to her navel. "Here."

His eyes were drawn to the spot where her finger directed and Daniel stared, the Bee forgotten.

Panting, Vala continued to point, lifting her gaze to Teal'c first and then Mitchell. "Remember what happened to Muscles?"

"Ah, Damn." Mitchell shook his head, "that's trouble."

With a disgusted sigh, Daniel glared at the colonel. "You really have read all the mission reports, haven't you? But did you have to tell her?"

"I...I..."

Before Mitchell could reply further, Vala, shirttail still held high, and finger still indicting the site of the possible insect attack, stepped back giving Daniel a sullen look. "I know what happened to Muscles, what difference does it make how...it's not like I can un-know it without some alien device!"

"Vala, it's probably nothin'. Jackson, maybe you should escort her back to be sure. You can meet up with me and the big guy at the village when you get back tomorrow."

"No, no. I'm fine. Really. We could wait and see if I start molting or whatever." Dropping the shirt tail Vala squinted against the sun on the horizon that shot it's red/gold beam directly at her eyes.

Coming out of his stupor now, with Vala's tight stomach no longer in view, Daniel snapped his head up. "It was a tiny bee!"

Those narrowed eyes slitted further, and pierced Daniel. "It bit me!"

"Stung." Daniel deadpanned.

"Whatever. It could, you know, create massive monsterism!"

Daniel rolled his eyes in frustration. " I'm going to strangle you, Mitchell. You're fine, Vala. It's only a bee sting."

"Hmph," she responded. "We'll see."

"Okay, Jackson, you're on Vala duty – her tent. Make sure she doesn't go all buggy. Me, I'm on first watch. Teal'c'll take second watch. Let's have some dinner, and turn in. We've gotta big day ahead tomorrow."

-o-o-o-o-o-o

After transferring his gear into Vala's tent, Daniel stripped in the darkness to his skivvies, zipped himself into his sleeping bag, informed Vala to wake him if she turned into some monster, rolled over, and tried to get some rest.

After about an hour he heard her sigh, and state to no one in particular...or him. "I can't sleep."

"Okay," he responded turning to his back.

"I mean, what if I wake up in a cocoon?"

Daniel opened his eyes and stared into the darkness. "Last time. Bee. Small. Harmless."

"Maybe we should catch one."

"A bee!" He rolled to his side, in her direction.

"Yes."

"Why?" Incredulous, he could barely whisper the word.

"Send it back for analysis."

He heard the unspoken _'of course' _in her voice, and something else...an undercurrent of vulnerability. "Right," he said, "tomorrow. Bees, they sleep at night." There was no stopping his grin – though it was shrouded in the pitch black.

"Well, Daniel, that would be the perfect time to capture one - you know, while they sleep."

It took him a moment. "Ah... these particular bees, they have hidden sleeping places...so...er...predators can't find them."

"Oh," she sighed, sounding worried.

"Come here." He could imagine what she was doing. Biting her lip. Eyebrows scrunched low. Contemplating herself as a mutation of human and bee. He reached across and pulled her sleeping bag against him, wrapping his arm around her middle. "Go to sleep, Vala, I'll protect you."

"Mmm," she purred. "Thank you, darling. That's why..." she yawned wide, mumbling in half sleep. "I love you..."

He waited a good thirty seconds, thinking she was sound asleep before whispering against her hair, "That's a scary thought."

"Not really," she mumbled, "I've been rather fond of you for quite sometime."

"Oh," Daniel said, snuggling closer, "me, too."

Again, Vala yawned, her words barely coherent. "Fond of yourself?"

"No, fond of you." Daniel buried his face into the crook of her neck.

"Good night, Daniel."

"Good night, Vala

~Series...TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**~o0o~Number Seven~o0o~**

They'd been stuck here for three days, waiting for Mitchell and Teal'c to return. Radio contact had been sparse, but enough to know the rest of their team was safe, just delayed by the massive rainfall.

"I need sunshine, Daniel!" Vala brushed her hair over and over, head down and hair splayed out in front of the huge fire.

He stood behind her staring, mesmerized before finally finding his voice. "Oh. Right. Sorry, not in my field of expertise. You'd need Sam to know how to create a sun... or was that blow up a sun? I get confused."

"Very funny," Vala continued to brush her hair forward to dry the mass that had been soaked in their recent and short foray from the cave. She was totally unaware of Daniel's perusal, or the fact that he'd captured a wayward strand between his fingers.

Dropping the silken thread as her brush rose, Daniel whispered, "Cobalt," without realizing he'd uttered the word aloud.

Tossing her hair back, Vala sat up. "Is that a beer? I'd love a beer!"

Daniel chuckled, sitting down beside her. "Nope. A color. So black it looks almost blue...or so blue it looks almost black." he paused as their gaze drifted towards each other. "Sometimes when the light hits your hair just so, it looks cobalt."

Voice low, sultry, Vala asked, "Are you flirting with me, Daniel?"

"No." He could barely force the word out. "Or maybe, yes."

Their faces inched closer. His eyes dropped to her lips and in response, Vala's tongue darted out to moisten the pink skin.

The radio crackled and they jumped apart. "Jackson! The rains settled down to a category one hurricane force, so we're gonna head your way. Put another log on the fire, man. Be there in twenty. Mitchell out."

As Daniel started to turn away, Vala grabbed his collar. "Twenty, darling."

Turning back with a grin he nodded. "Right. Twenty."

~ series...TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**~o0o~Number Eight~o0o~**

Suddenly hungry, Daniel had just taken a healthy bite of the leftover cold, stale toast from his breakfast of ten hours ago when her sultry voice asked, "So, what do you think?"

First he considered shifting his eyes up and over, just in case, but decided, toast crumbs filling his mouth and stuck there, to lift his head and give her his full attention. Big mistake.

The dress, what there was of it, was soft grey, like her eyes which he knew were somewhere above where he stared, while toasted bread lodged unwaveringly in the middle of his throat. And like those eyes up there somewhere, the dress glistened, gleamed and sparkled.

And because his astounded gaze was locked somewhere between creamy cleavage and taut thighs, if he chose, he could comprehend why her hand/finger movements pointed downward. If he chose.

"Daniel." Her one word full sentence - meaning pay attention, darling - reached him.

Blinking furiously, his mind calculated the meaning in haste and with great reluctance his gaze dropped like a leaded balloon, to her feet, where it remained as his mind went off its track.

"Do you like them?" Vala purred.

"Your feet?" He responded, unsure, and a tad high pitched, while at the same time trying to assimilate exactly what color her toenails really were.

"No, silly, the shoes, my new shoes."

"Oh." He said as his eyes traveled upwards as slowly as he could possibly go. When the hem of her dress (which, by the way, started a good five inches above her knees) came into view, Daniel's brows scrunched in thought. "Why are you wearing that dress?" The emphasis being on the word - THAT.

"Because it goes with the shoes. And because you liked it when I tried it on so I bought it... remember, last year at that sale that Sam couldn't go to because one of the main systems on the _Hammond_ was about to blow up and she left suddenly and you took me shopping instead? It was that time I asked if it looked okay and you said, 'oh, yeah' and I asked if I was being too shallow and you insisted that I wasn't since I rarely shop anymore and a woman has to have something to wear if she goes out. At which point, by the way, I thought you would ask me on a date, so I bought the dress, but you didn't ask me on a date and since you said this is a date, which you confirmed and everyone heard... and it's a year later, I might add, well, I'm wearing this one. Why are you wearing that tie?"

It took all of a full thirty seconds to make his brain work. His eyes drifted upwards. "Because you told me to?"

"No. I told you to wear the red one that goes really well with my shoes...and dress...and little beaded purse."

The stale toast had dissolved and Daniel licked his dry lips. "You think it's appropriate?"

"Of course it is! It's a cocktail dress and we are going to a cocktail party. And these," she lifted one foot, making his gaze drop to the glitter encrusted, high heeled, multi-strapped footwear, "are cocktail shoes, because I asked the sales lady and she assured me they were..."

"A cocktail party for the President of the United States." He informed her with as he finally settled his gaze on her face.

"So?" Twisting to and fro Vala bit her lip and winked at her handsome date.

"So," her handsome date whispered with effort, "you look beautiful."

"Oh. So do you. Ready?"

_Are you kidding me? No, not now, not ever, okay, yes, ready..very ready. _"Are you sure you really want to go to this cocktail party?"

She moved towards him, little heels clicking like a clock, her soft grey sparkling eyes locked with his vivid blue sparkling eyes. "Did you have something else in mind?" Vala's finger traced his cheek, ran across his lips, and followed the line of his neck down to the collar of his dress shirt.

"Oh, yeah."

~series TBC


End file.
